My Pops!

Since I must start over with my journal writings I'd like to try and recall some of the things I wrote and did not get posted. My graduation was last weekend and was an unforgettable one. It was my first time graduating from anything so I am so so proud of myself and it felt really good to give my family something to be proud of me for. It just feels so good to have accomplished something I put my mind to. I now know for sure I can do absolutely anything I put my mind to. I am so ready to continue my education and get to my final goal of being a respiratory therapist. Another great thing about my graduation was that my Dad came to my graduation and that meant alot to me since I know it was tough for him. My Dad has Stage 4 esophageal cancer and he is pretty sick. He has good days and bad, but, unfortunately the days he spent here were all bad and we did'nt get much time to spend with eachother. It did'nt help that he forgot alot of his cancer medication at home. I really wish ther was more I could do for him but he apparently does not want anyones help and that hurts me deeply. There is so much more he could be doing to help himself stay healthy. He could start by listening and actually going to his doctor appointments. He won't even talk to me about anything, he just gets angry and then I get pissed off. I think I just have to quit trying and let him do whatever I guess. It is just so hard since now I have a real understanding of the medical field and I care so much about his well being. It seems to me that he's just on a suicide mission and it really sucks that he does'nt tell me anything, I mean he tells me nothing. I still love my Dad but its hard to just do nothing. I am a pretty tough guy but I am really sensitive at heart, especially about my family.